i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize