thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
should my penis look like a turkey
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize