the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
two words...techno handjob
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
