piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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