I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize