even my farts smell like vagina
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
