no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
