I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
