This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Screwed.edu
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
