Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
