sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
wanna go halves on a baby?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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