well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
