i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
