can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
