I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My ass is underappreciated
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
