Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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