I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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