You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize