My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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