She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
