can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
