This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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