i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
