so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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