but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I touched a dick in church today
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
