I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
