Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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