Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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