spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize