Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
