what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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