Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
