You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this boner is exhausting
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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