You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
