Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
God, I missed his penis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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