Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
