you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
