i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
