it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
