Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
