Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
420 ftw
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
