This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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