What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
