yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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