I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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