Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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