That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
3pm strippers are depressing
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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