Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
