I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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