You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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