i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Your dad touched me again.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
