Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
