Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize