hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
