I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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