i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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