Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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