I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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