I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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