Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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