I'm jealous of your bromance
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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