Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
