so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
