I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize