your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
