do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
