Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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