thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
