is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
