but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
