So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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