We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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