I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i think i have two assholes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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